Where's Jonathan?

2006-10-03T06:59:00.000-07:00

Many people have asked Where's Jonathan?

Well first let me assure you that he is alive and well? Unfortunately, our mystery cameraman has had to move on.
He has been sourly missed by some many people and he misses them equally.
Thankfully, our mystery cameraman and Jonathan have remained close friends and have promised to update 'Where's Jonathan?' as often as they can.

Little do some people realise the hard work that went into 'Where's Jonathan?' from both 'Jonathan' and ... our mystery cameraman and we would like to thank them both for all the hard work.

Jonathan can still be found lurking in cupboards

and somewhere in here:

google.co.uk/local

Better Than Never

2006-04-25T00:31:00.000-07:00

Jonathan wonders when the shop will arrive.

Airwolf

2006-04-21T00:05:00.000-07:00

Jonathan buys a new helicopter from eBay.

When the Boat Comes In

2006-04-19T02:45:00.000-07:00

Jonathan tries to explain to our mystery cameraman that when the tide comes in he will be quite safe.

Our mystery cameraman doesn't have the heart to tell him that the nearest sea is fifty miles away.

Sunny Side Up

2006-04-18T08:05:00.000-07:00

Jonathan would like to point how much of a lovely day it is in Gloucester.

Although no Jonathans were harmed in the making on this blog entry, our mystery cameraman had to undergo some emergency eye therapy.

Who are you?

2006-04-04T04:24:00.000-07:00

Jonathan would like to pay tribute to the former CEO of the company that he works for.

Unfortunately, he is not allowed to name the company he works for or this individual… so it could just be a very tall stranger.

The Greatest Punch of All Time

2006-04-03T05:03:00.000-07:00

After a beautiful swift right jab, Jonathan is knocked senseless by a famous boxer.

Third Time Lucky

2006-03-28T14:42:00.000-08:00

Jonathan revists his old haunting ground once more, and wonders how on earth they managed to get the car in there. They must have built around it.

On a totally unrelated note, our mystery cameraman thinks this is a boring location, and wishes he'd chosen a slightly more interesting spot.

In a Bit of a Puddle

2006-03-28T01:34:00.000-08:00

Jonathan suggests that before he tries the rather tricky ‘enter stationary car from pavement’ manoeuvre, our mystery cameraman moves his car, as accidents do happen whilst making ‘Where’s Jonathan?’

He's on the Road to Nowhere

2006-03-24T01:47:00.000-08:00

In a bizarre twist, Jonathan doesn't know where he's going, but he does know where he's been, thanks to the handy photographs and commentary by our mystery cameraman.

The Quest For Peace

2006-03-23T08:53:00.000-08:00

Jonathan finds the telephone box that Clark Kent once used to phone his mother while he was on holiday to explain that yes, he had packed a spare pair of red underpants.

Frustration

2006-03-21T03:43:00.000-08:00

Jonathan takes his frustration out on this convenient punch bag.

Our mystery cameraman is very grateful for the zoom lens on his camera.

A Literal Approach

2006-03-17T01:38:00.000-08:00

Jonathan prepares to swim AND paddle.

Stunt

2006-03-14T03:59:00.000-08:00

Jonathan does the ‘360 Kick flip Trick Tip’ (ramprage.com/tricktips) on his skateboard.

Sadly we missed it, so here’s his ‘stand on a skateboard and pose’ trick instead.

Sorry.

A Flight through Time

2006-03-13T04:47:00.000-08:00

For a brief second Jonathan thought he had gone back in time, as he stood on the site of The Gloster Aircraft Company, but on closer inspection he discovered he hadn’t.

http://www.google.co.uk/local

What a Prize?

2006-03-10T03:04:00.000-08:00

Jonathan finds it hard to believe that this poor sunflower won first prize in last years Chelsea Flower Show.

Chelsea 2005

But it’s Not My Birthday!

2006-03-09T06:27:00.000-08:00

Jonathan prepares to deliver some yummy cakes to his adoring fans.

Unfortunately for security reasons we are unable to name the cook.

Fan Mail

2006-02-28T00:02:00.000-08:00

Jonathan takes the time to post a reply to his fan letter.

Our mystery cameraman doesn't have the heart to tell him that it was just junk mail, and sent to the wrong address at that.

Which Way Round?

2006-02-21T04:09:00.000-08:00

Our mystery camera man explains to Jonathan that, even with him stood in the middle of this rather nice roundabout, people would still choose to ignore it!

Leapfrog

2006-01-30T02:57:00.000-08:00

Jonathan challenges the common misconception that you need more than one person to play leapfrog.

In the Bleak MidWinter

2006-01-09T07:10:00.000-08:00

In a tribute to Davidus and his family, Jonathan wears a pair of sunglasses, even though the weather is cold and wet, and he can't see a thing with them on.

Here, he tries to demonstrate that the wildlife is still active, even during the winter, but the bird flies off without him noticing.

Where in the World?

2006-01-03T06:59:00.000-08:00

In a sudden burst of altruism, Jonathan gives a famous computer superstore some free publicity.

Plus, he can't resist those Xtra offers which are on sale.

Mr Muscle

2005-12-29T01:14:00.000-08:00

Jonathan strengthens up his arms for a new years worth of "Where's Jonathan?" pictures. He was at a loss as to which arm to use to point whilst demonstrating, because he couldn't point and weight-lift with the same arm.

Maybe when he's a bit fitter.

The Ghost of Christmas Present

2005-12-24T01:05:00.000-08:00

Jonathan wonders if this present is for him. He hopes so, but it feels awfully light.

Country Living

2005-12-23T00:21:00.000-08:00

There is a school of thought which says that Jonathan doesn't live in the countryside, but a few minutes drive brings him to this beautiful and possibly scenic vista, which quite definitely is in the countryside.

Lovely, isn't it?

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho

2005-12-22T04:46:00.000-08:00

Jonathan points out his work to the mystery cameraman.

Insider Information

2005-12-21T01:19:00.000-08:00

Jonathan has always wondered what's on the back of those signs on roundabouts. But no longer.

Obstruction

2005-12-19T08:21:00.000-08:00

Jonathan refuses to allow his girlfriend to leave until she's given him a kiss goodbye.

RoboCameraman

2005-12-16T06:14:00.000-08:00

Our mystery cameraman tries to tell Jonathan that he's posing for the wrong camera, but he seems oblivious.

Funny Hat Tribe Part II

2005-12-16T06:10:00.000-08:00

In a further attempt to inflitrate the funny hat tribe, Jonathan makes himself a novelty hat, but it's just a little too small.

Pass It On

2005-12-16T06:08:00.000-08:00

Jonathan wonders if he explained correctly. While his girlfriend's hand is palm outwards, he doesn't feel like she's got the hang of the Where's Jonathan pose just yet.

New Car

2005-12-14T06:56:00.000-08:00

Our mystery cameraman claims to have bought a new car, but Jonathan is having a certain amount of difficulty getting into the passenger seat.

Oscar

2005-12-09T07:38:00.000-08:00

Jonathan thanks all and sundry for nominating him for the Oscar that he won at the "Where's Jonathan" awards of 2005.

Special thanks go to the mystery cameraman for taking so many pictures.

Just Hanging Around

2005-12-06T03:19:00.000-08:00

Jonathan explains that there was no way he could have put spiderman there. He's just too short. He suspects the mystery cameraman, or someone with a handy chair to stand on.

Winter Roads

2005-11-25T06:23:00.000-08:00

Jonathan explains that this is what happens to a car if you leave it all autumn without cleaning it.

Our mystery cameraman claims to have washed it yesterday, but Jonathan is cynical.

Antenna

2005-11-18T05:27:00.000-08:00

In a rather contrived photo, our mystery cameraman decides that Jonathan should wear the novelty "star on antenna" on his head. He then demands that Jonathan points at himself, which leaves the open handed point looking slightly wrong.

Jonathan goes along with this request, because he's good like that.

Jack Frost

2005-11-18T05:25:00.000-08:00

Jonathan demonstrates that the sun, whilst sufficiently high in the sky to catch the top of his head, is not able to melt the frost that Jack left this morning on a local lawn.

After this photograph was developed, comparisons were made between Jonathan's face and Stark from Farscape.

Mr Frosty

2005-11-18T05:21:00.000-08:00

Jonathan finds a particularly large snowman inside a well known supermarket chain. Despite the warmth inside this building, the snowman has not yet melted.

Our mystery cameraman wonders why the snowman is holding a broomstick.

Paper Cuts

2005-11-11T06:19:00.000-08:00

Jonathan tries to get some paper money out of the bank, but is met with a staggering lack of success. Our mystery cameraman lets him in on the secret; This is a deposit only bank.

Leave It Out

2005-11-07T05:00:00.000-08:00

In a rare, non-pointing shot, Jonathan performs the tricky "leaving a room" stunt.

Serve Your Time

2005-11-06T23:18:00.000-08:00

Jonathan hides out in a rather compact server rack. He gets quite comfortable, and refuses to come out once the photo-shoot is over. Our mystery cameraman leaves him there.

Da Rules

2005-11-04T07:46:00.000-08:00

Some confusion has been noted after the incident in which Jonathan confronted his equal and opposite self. It was felt by all the staff at Where's Jonathan that a clarification of the specific rules that Jonathan operates under would help to resolve any misunderstandings.

1. The pictures do not have to be taken during lunch time. Any photo opportunity, no matter how fleeting and at what time, may be taken for the good of our loyal public.

2. No photo may have any modifications done to it, apart from the removal of company logos and car registration plates required by our own sense of decency. No photo is otherwise photoshopped, edited, cropped or manipulated by us. All photos go straight from the camera to the blog.

3. Not all photos that are taken have to end up on the blog, we reserve the right to veto pictures on matters of taste, lighting, and just cos we don't feel any are up to scratch.

4. Either hand is fine when gesturing, although the right hand is preferred in most photo opportunities. Some photos (particularly action shots) do not have any gestures with either hand.

5. The mystery cameraman may not post pictures without Jonathan's consent, and random passers by are given opportunities to leave the shot.

Newton's Third Law

2005-11-04T05:16:00.000-08:00

It is said that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Jonathan recognises this fact calmly as he faces his alternate self, who is horrified to find that he isn't the original.

Luckily, Jonathan suffers no violence from his alternate self due to the principle that the same matter cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

Into The Depths

2005-11-04T02:50:00.000-08:00

Jonathan fails to notice the banana skin placed suspiciously at the top of the stairs, and begins the classic "slip over and fall down two flights of stairs" move, all the while making little "oooch" and "aaah" noises on every step. A masterful production.

Our mystery cameraman removes the evidence afterwards.

Another Hero

2005-11-04T02:45:00.000-08:00

29 Acacia Road, home of Jonathan, the boy who leads an amazing double-life. For whenever Jonathan eats a banana, an amazing transformation occurs. Jonathan is Bananaman, ever alert for the call to action.

No bananas were hurt during the making of this picture.

Cone Hotline

2005-10-28T14:28:00.000-07:00

Jonathan discovers that unwanted and unloved traffic cones always seem to accumulate in corners of car parks.

Three Times a Headlight

2005-10-28T14:22:00.000-07:00

Jonathan shows off his incredible ability to change a car headlight after only three trips back to the shop.

He is understandably proud of himself, but feels that actually reading the manual and looking at the bulbs to be replaced before going to buy spares might have been a better option.

The White House

2005-10-27T07:02:00.000-07:00

Here we see a beautiful white three storey building near the centre of town, very unlike the White House in Washington, but having a certain grandeur which belies it's humble location. Jonathan is trying to distract our mystery photographer by pointing out The Victoria, a small watering hole nearby.

A New Super Hero

2005-10-26T03:42:00.000-07:00

Jonathan discovers a latent ability which enables him to cling to sheer surfaces as easily as if he was walking on flat ground. Sadly, he's afraid of heights, so his spiderman-like activities are limited to just above ground level. We think his secret is safe for now.

The Nuthouse

2005-10-25T06:16:00.000-07:00

Ever obedient, and responding to his viewers earnest assurances that he belongs in the nuthouse, Jonathan pops in to town, and even though he thinks that his hair is quite short enough already, steps inside to have his photo taken.

Special thanks to the staff at the nuthouse for humouring us.

Having A Party?

2005-10-24T06:31:00.000-07:00

Having A Party? Invite Jonathan and his mystery cameraman. They are always happy to consume party-food.

Concrete Jungle

2005-10-24T06:29:00.000-07:00

Jonathan is understandably concerned that this chunk of concrete has collapsed onto it's face in the middle of a high-street, and not a single passer-by has stopped to help the poor unfortunate thing.

Hidey Hole

2005-10-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

Jonathan leaps from his understair hideaway, instantly ready to pose for any photos that our mystery cameraman deems appropriate.

Porridge

2005-10-21T06:25:00.000-07:00

This porridge isn't too hot or too cold. But since neither baby bear nor Goldilocks are around, Jonathan eats it.

Built to Last

2005-10-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

Jonathan is suitably impressed with the obviously fine workmanship that went into creating this rather nice looking stone wall, and expresses his desire to have a wall like this for his own garden one day.

Owl Watch Extra

2005-10-21T06:20:00.000-07:00

Jonathan's curiosity is aroused by news that a traditional barn owl has made it's residence on a rather high-tech looking local building.

And our mystery photographer takes another step closer to unveiling his identity as a chance reflection catches his semblance.

Poetry in the Making

2005-10-21T06:19:00.000-07:00

Jonathan revisits one of his old haunting grounds, and in a flash of inspiration, quickly writes and then recites an ode to construction sites. It is well received by our mystery cameraman.

Theory of Relativity

2005-10-20T07:02:00.000-07:00

Jonathan tries to comprehend just exactly how this packet of crisps got to be so big. Our mystery cameraman very kindly refrains from telling him it's a normal size packet of crisps and that he's shrunk.

Rain or Shine

2005-10-20T07:01:00.000-07:00

Jonathan demonstrates how hardy he is by hiding in a bus shelter during an October shower, whilst our intrepid mystery cameraman braves the weather and once again proves his true worth by producing another masterpiece.

Three Strikes and You're Out

2005-10-20T06:59:00.000-07:00

Jonathan ruefully explains why it's best to stop telling his young lady those old music hall jokes that he finds so hysterically funny, but which always elicit such withering looks.

In The Depths

2005-10-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

Once again searching for something that isn't there, Jonathan checks the river for any sign of an old shopping trolley, which he's heard is traditionally found lurking in the depths next to half a traffic cone and an algae covered plank of wood.

Bay of Discontent

2005-10-19T06:39:00.000-07:00

With so many spaces around it, Jonathan is understandably surprised and concerned that this car isn't parked in a bay.
It should perhaps also be noted that if you look closely, you can see a book resting on top of a bottle in front of one of the cars.

The Unteachables

2005-10-18T05:10:00.000-07:00

Jonathan attempts to pass on his hoard of knowledge to a dedicated team of professionals. Sadly, despite much coaching, lengthly explanations and examples, some people still don't know their right from their left.

Quick Thinking

2005-10-18T05:08:00.000-07:00

In this extreme close-up shot, Jonathan frantically thinks of something to gesture at, and luckily a magazine rack is just visible on his right.

Brush With Greatness

2005-10-18T05:07:00.000-07:00

Continuing the current trend, for he is nothing if not consistent, Jonathan pretends that he has actually met the great man, and this inspirational sign™ has only been substituted because our mystery photographer wasn't present at the first meeting.

Not In The Image and Likeness

2005-10-17T17:05:00.000-07:00

Jonathan copies a new pose from an inspirational sign™, and is assured that no, it doesn't work as well as the old one.

Tour De Jardin

2005-10-10T07:32:00.000-07:00

In a tragic turn of events, Jonathan washes his bike one too many times, and it shrinks in the tumble drier. Luckily, it's small size makes it perfect for the Tour De Jardin, the semi-annual event which takes place near the stack of small purple and green chairs.

Sports Day

2005-10-10T07:30:00.000-07:00

Jonathan demonstrates that, even on a slippery floor, it's possible to really boot a football quite hard. This action shot was taken at great personal risk to our mystery photographer, who became entangled in the string shortly after this shot was taken.

Concept Photos

2005-10-06T07:26:00.000-07:00

Jonathan demonstrates that he is unclear on the concept of a "pick-up point", since the metal frame is, in fact, ludicrously difficult to pick up.

Rabbit Food

2005-10-06T07:25:00.000-07:00

Jonathan spots an advert for an inflatable carrot. He tries to make a joke about it, but it's just not as funny as it could be. Alarmingly, if you look closely, you can see that Jonathan looks a little green in his reflection.

In The Wilds

2005-10-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

Here, in the wilds of the ki'tchun wastelands, Jonathan finds and befriends a native of the funny hat tribe. He receives an elf hat in return for party food.

Insurance Policy

2005-09-16T09:27:00.000-07:00

Jonathan trains his replacement in case anything untoward happens in the stunts he plans to perform.

Jedi In Training

2005-09-16T09:26:00.000-07:00

Jonathan performs a stunning somersault in mid air, and everyone is totally amazed. Sadly, we missed that one, so this is a daring leap from the step of destiny.

Fire Warden

2005-09-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

Jonathan politely tells our mystery cameraman where to go.

The Perils of Papery Pitstops

2005-09-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

Jonathan shows off the perils of failing to fill the shredder bin with one of those nifty little plastic bags.

Darren was not harmed by Jane during the making of this picture. But she did threaten him with "The Cleaners".

Balancing Act

2005-09-14T07:56:00.000-07:00

Jonathan explains in a precarious manner that it is the cameraman who is the star of this show, without whom none of this would be possible. Sadly, we have to report that there was a Jonathan harmed shortly after the making of this picture.

In the City (but only just)

2005-09-14T07:55:00.000-07:00

Jonathan explains that at this moment, he is in the countryside. With a few well chosen steps he could be in the city if he wanted to be. But he doesn't.

We've Got Your Number

2005-09-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

Jonathan explains to the operator that no-one by that name lives here.

Invisible Keys

2005-09-14T07:47:00.000-07:00

Following the invisible theme, Jonathan fruitlessly searches for a set of invisible keys, which had sadly fallen down the very real and visible drain.

Invisible Stile

2005-09-14T07:34:00.000-07:00

Jonathan demonstrates how to climb over a suprisingly real-looking invisible stile. Rest assured that no Jonathans were harmed during the making of this picture.

Back and Back to the Future

2005-09-06T08:42:00.000-07:00

Jonathan's time travel experiments go badly wrong, and a fight ensues about whether his future self has the better watch.

The Leaning Tree of A Pub Somewhere

2005-09-05T08:13:00.000-07:00

We decided to go upmarket with our photos, and visit the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Sadly, funds were limited, so we visited a local pub instead and found a smaller substitute in the form of the tree pictured above, which Jonathan kindly helped to return to its upright position.

Kerpow!

2005-09-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

*BAM!!! BIFF!!! KERPOW!!!!* Take that, Mr Evil Wheelie-Bin!

Jonathan decides that this picture's contents can only be properly expressed by cartoon-like words appearing in them. Sadly, Batman and Robin couldn't make a cameo appearance, so you'll just have to make do with the charms of our protagonist.

Hit The Road, Jonathan

2005-08-26T09:54:00.000-07:00

During our wanderings, we found this convenient place to stay. Here, Jonathan demonstrates that you can only park outside the Holiday Inn sign outside the hours of 8am-6pm Mon-Sat. So that's why he's not in a car.

The pavement is missing, too.

Revelation 3:20

2005-08-23T15:43:00.000-07:00

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

Sunshine and Snow

2005-08-23T15:41:00.000-07:00

There was no snow on this sunny day, but the Ski and Snowboard Centre was open for business as normal. We realise that this sign doesn't actually show that, and we could have been standing there whilst it was shut. You'll just have to trust us.

Well, Well, Well

2005-08-22T18:44:00.000-07:00

A close up of the well reveals two truths. One, it is empty. Two, it's ornamental. We couldn't think of any snappy tag-lines for this one, so you'll have to make one up yourself.

When You Wish Upon a Well...

2005-08-22T18:40:00.000-07:00

I know that the real saying by a certain Mr. Cricket was Upon a Star, but we're on a low budget here, and we had to make do with a rather rickety looking wishing well, which by the smell had obviously been recently creosoted.

Sunset Boulevard

2005-08-22T18:36:00.000-07:00

Jonathan demonstrates a beautiful sunset, whilst his girlfriend lurches sideways in an ultimately fruitful attempt to avoid being the subject of a portrait photograph.

Another Type of Tank

2005-08-16T20:45:00.000-07:00

Thomas the tank engine was blue, so this isn't him, but it looks a lot like one of his friends!

Don't Barge Into Me

2005-08-16T16:44:00.000-07:00

Jonathan explains that Mischief and Mrchief live on a rather nice blue barge, and use hankerchiefs for curtains.

I Saw Three Ships A Sailing

2005-08-16T16:42:00.000-07:00

We found the docks in the end, despite a few false starts, and lots of going round in circles trying to find a parking space for our four-masted schooner*. The tiny figure of Jonathan demonstrates just how big these things are close up.

* We think it's a four-masted schooner. That's what the salesman said**.

** We don't really own the boat, but we'd like to have a go on it.

Egypt At Lunchtime

2005-08-16T16:41:00.000-07:00

The riddle of the sphinx is this: How did they park that thing up there in the first place?

Cool Rider

2005-08-16T16:39:00.000-07:00

I can park wherever I like, thank you very much!

All Tanked Up With Nowhere To Go

2005-08-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

Here we have Jonathan standing by a military vehicle of some description, and he's just noticed a plane burdened with technology quite capable of taking out anything that moves (we are quite close to an R.A.F. base), and he's understandably keen to get this photo opportunity over with quickly so we can move on to a safer location, if that's ok with everyone..

Up, Up and...

2005-08-11T14:02:00.000-07:00

Jonathan has began his training to beat the world record for pogo stick jumping. The World Record currently sits at 14.99 miles... Jonathan managed three jumps!!!

To Play Or Not To Play

2005-08-11T13:57:00.000-07:00

On request, here we provide a picture of Jonathan actually playing the drums shown in a previous post.

We can prove, if necessary, that he can actually play, and isn't just sitting there with a silly grin on his face.

Fishing

2005-08-10T13:31:00.000-07:00

Here is Jonathan explaining the intricacies and rules of the new game we invented... 'pêcher pour le couvercle de café'

Darth explains all....

2005-08-09T13:40:00.000-07:00

Darth Vader explains that the items in this antique display case do, in fact, belong to his grandmother on his mother's side.

Lift Panels

2005-08-02T14:36:00.000-07:00

Here we see the excellent workmanship which has gone into making a lift panel in an unnamed building north of town. The lift kindly carried us and a can of WD40 up two flights of stairs.

We may use the lift later to go back down. It served us well.